Although I have lived in Ottawa for four years, I do not view it as my home. My true hometown is a small village located in the south of China, where rivers run past every home. Unfortunately, due to the Chinese government's strict zero-COVID policy during the pandemic, my hometown has experienced significant humanitarian crises, making me apprehensive about returning. Whenever I stand beside the Rideau River, I am reminded of the lovely rivers in my hometown, which leave me feeling uncertain and lost, as if I am standing on the edge of an identity crisis.